If you ask a group (I’ve tried this, so I know), “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word hospitality?” most people will say, “Martha Stewart.” And that’s just a shame, because Martha Stewart is not hospitable. What do I mean by that?
I once watched a Today show segment where Martha was illustrating how to decorate a gingerbread house. Meredith Vieira tried to follow Martha’s directions as they decorated it together. When they’d finished Martha turned the house to display the side she had done, rather than Meredith’s. Meredith asked her why she didn’t show her side, and Martha said, “We want it to look pretty.” Meredith looked offended and said, “Martha!” in a tone of surprise and hurt.
Hospitality is not providing the perfect meal in the perfect home by the perfect hostess. We’ve been led to believe that’s what it is by the Martha Stewart perfection that many of us secretly aspire to. I’d love to be able to turn out food and events that look like Martha’s, but I gave up on that long ago because of time and lack of ability (my gingerbread houses look like Meredith’s, not Martha’s).
I’ve sometimes enjoyed watching Martha’s show. I enjoy beautiful things, so it’s fun to see the amazing things she turns out. And I’m not dissing those of you who have similar ability. More power to you. But I still insist that, in itself, is not hospitality. That’s cooking and craft skill. On her television show, I once heard Martha ask a man, “Didn’t your mother teach you anything?” That is not hospitable.
I heard a story when I was a child about a family who invited a man to dinner who had been homeless much of his life. He was uncomfortable at the dinner table because he’d rarely sat at one. The only utensil he could handle well was the spoon, so he grabbed that and used it for the casserole, the peas, everything. The father of the family followed his cue and also used only his spoon. Soon the homeless man was talking comfortably with them. That’s hospitality.
As Christians, especially, we should be aware of what the commands to be hospitable truly mean (Romans 12:13, 1 Timothy 5:10, 1 Peter 4:9, 3 John 1:8). What do you think? What is true hospitality?
Tags: Bible, Christianity, hospitality, Martha Stewart
Hi! I think of hospitality as the opposite of Martha Stewart. Hospitality, for me, means making people feel at ease and comfortable in your home. If everything is “perfect” that doesn’t make for an “at ease” atmosphere in my opinion. Rather people may be nervous or fearful of breaking something, messing things up, etc. When we have people over, we do cook a nice meal but try to keep things down-to-earth and “real.” If that makes sense? I use the regular everyday dishes, because that is the only set I own actually! The house is clean but not spotless. Etc.
Very sadly, we find hospitality has become a lost art. Probably for about every 10 times we invite people over to our place, we get 1 invite to someone else’s place. Don’t get me wrong here – we are not inviting people over just to get an invite back! But some reciprocity is nice.
Thanks for your post.
I so agree, Laura – it is becoming a lost art. We need to keep practicing it even if we are the only ones!
I so agree, JoHannah. I once read a funny comparison between Martha Stewart and Erma Bombeck. I definately related more to Erma.
We want our guests to feel comfortable…at home….cared about. We want to cherish people….not things.
Yes, yes, yes!
To me hospitality begins in love. It means to treat every guest as if they were Christ himself at your table. I always remember the verse that we may be entertaining angels unaware and take it to heart.
True beauty comes not from the way something looks but from the way in which it was created. Things created in a spirit of love and kindness may be plain and simple but they are the most beautiful things of all!
hugs
mel
Thanks, Mel – beautifully said!